Fetters: Alcohol

When one attacks the cult of alcohol one contends with the whole of human history, and yet, after literally thousands of years of whitewash, it requires still another coat, for all its faults are bare.  When our cousins, the primates, happened upon fermented fruits in the wild, and began falling out of the trees and drowning in their own vomit, the other beasts did not watch with envy.

Yet, we creatures of the highest order saw something desirable about it, and today are proud patrons of another billion dollar industry funding crucial research.  Who can doubt that elderly folk who prefer a glass of wine every night have fewer heart attacks, particularly the ones who die before they have the chance?  They report to us that wine is rich in antioxidants, which saves us from having to eat fruits and vegetables which are bothersome to digestion.

What madness in our race encourages us to embrace this poison?  For those that do, it is worth all kinds of misery.  We are told to feel pride in a habit that, if pursued with vigor, will undo all pride.  We learn intoxication in place of certain skills: how to connect with people, how to have fun, how to relax, how to cope with problems and emotions, how to be happy – skills we might miss later.  The cult of alcohol suggests itself as way to assert certain virtues like courage and rebellion, when in truth we are submitting to cowardliness and conformity.

No doubt it’s fun to have a few drinks and act like an idiot, but alcohol helps you with your life like credit cards give you money.  It brings out the very worst in us, it is undeniably one of the great instigators of misery, violence and death in the world; so how important to us is this monkey pleasure?  Prohibition is sadly ignorant of human nature, and social opposition pays scant dividends; we can only look to the distant day when we will grow up as a species and leave the rotten fruit to our boorish cousins.

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